There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
