i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize