Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I want a musical about memes.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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