i already hear my dad disowning me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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