My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
why is half of my head shaved?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
