Heybabeimwearingurpanties
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
