I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize