one two three fourrrrnication!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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