I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How does one acquire holy water?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
