I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
