I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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