You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize