u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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