If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
