i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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