all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
