I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
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