we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
