worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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