Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
where am i from again
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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