Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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