So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
