We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
