Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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