real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize