69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize