Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
