How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
