just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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