His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
