I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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