Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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