omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
