Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
