So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize