So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize