i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
