so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
