Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
