he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
