we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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