We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
