I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
