I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
