Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
