I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
