I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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