you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
