So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
