Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
FUCK WHALES
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
