Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize