I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
