I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
