Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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