Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
