Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
