All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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