idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
