I wanna bring you to show and tell
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
