The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
