So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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