yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
