she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
