Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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