I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize