She's JV to your varsity
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize